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Stress Strains - Because Who Couldn’t Use Some Chill Right Now?


Remember just a few months ago when you would take a quick hit from a bowl to calm your nerves a bit before going on a Tinder date? Remember how your friends would give you shit because you smoked cannabis to help you sleep and how they said you were wasting your money when you asked the budtender which strain would help you relax at the end of the day? All those late nights when the only thing that provided a mental block between you and your neighbor’s never-ending parties was a pinch of freshly ground herb? Pepperidge Farm remembers…and so do we!

But alas, we find ourselves in what seems to be a completely different era when compared to the ye’ olden times of January 2020. Nowadays, those same friends who were once harassing you in the dispensary parking lot as you admired the calming Indica that you just picked up are likely the same folks who ambush the mail carrier, extending an invitation to share a socially distanced lukewarm Four Loko that they found at the bottom of their golf bag while they were re-organizing it for the third time during quarantine. These are the people who look like they’re at the tail-end of a 3-day bender as they go from dispensary to dispensary asking for the very thing that they used to make fun of you for, a nice relaxing Indica.

With the proverbial shit hitting the fan no matter how you spin it, one thing is for sure…we could all use some chill in our life right now and what better way to get it than a plant who has been delivering a sense of calm for 6,000 years? Let’s take a look at the most popular strains that you can ask for at your local dispensary when you’re feeling wired and can’t seem to find that Zen on your own.  

Gorilla Glue #4

This strain can be a tricky one to locate not only due to its massive popularity but also because it has so many colloquial names. Whether your plug calls it “Original Glue”, “GG4”, “Gorilla Glue” or “Gorilla Glue #4”…one thing is for sure, this heavy-duty hybrid winner of the 2014 Los Angeles Cannabis Cup will absolutely put you on your ass, in a good way! It has been long argued if the “glue” aspect of the name was derived from the abundance of sticky resin present on the buds or if it was an homage to how it effectively “glues” you to the chair. GG4’s appearance is very distinguishable amongst other strains as it often maintains a white glaze of delicious trichomes eager to play Sandman on your endocannabinoid system. It can also pack a punch in the THC department, coming in at 18-22% THC content. A dominate peppery bouquet is complimented by citrus and earthy undertones in what many describe as a “euphoric stress-free high”.

 

Northern Lights

Maybe Gorilla Glue #4 wasn’t exactly the type of mental numbing you were looking for. Perhaps you’re one of those people who wants to consume cannabis to take the edge off but you don’t want to let the cat out of the bag because you still have 2 conference calls and a Zoom meeting on the day’s agenda. If this sounds like your type of situation, perhaps you want to give Northern Lights a shot. If you’re a regular cannabis consumer, chances are that you’ve heard of Northern Lights. This Indica dominant strain doesn’t necessarily pack the punch that GG4 does but its THC content of 14-19% is still enough to, in the words of Sublime, “first take care of head”. With numerous phenotypes available these days, Northern Lights should be a relatively easy find at most dispensaries.

 

Purple Punch

So let’s assume you’re the ultra-boujee cannabis consumer who is sitting there saying something along the lines of, “Well…GG4 doesn’t exactly agree with my palate and I haven’t touched Northern Lights since around the time that the Sublime song you referenced was actually released…so what do you recommend for me?” And for you, our beloved pedant, we recommend checking out Purple Punch. This strain has a typical THC content of around 16-20% and while it consists of the same peppery and citrusy terpene profiles that we saw in Gorilla Glue #4, Purple Punch tosses pinene into the mix for a deeper pine flavor. Arguably more Indica dominant than even Northern Lights, users of this strain report that its beautifully purple buds still pack a punch in the stress relief category. Not only do users compliment Purple Punch’s ability to melt their stress-ridden minds into the couch but as a secondary benefit, it seems to be relatively effective at alleviating pain. This is certainly a strain that you should ask for at your dispensary if you’re looking for a good evening chill or if you have ever gotten in an argument over vocative commas versus Oxford commas…you glorious pendant, you!

 

Bubba Kush

If you’ve been on the scene for any amount of time, Bubba Kush is likely the one strain on this list that you haven’t at least heard of before. The lineage of this strain has been muddied by hearsay over time. It seems that the general consensus is that it is an Indica dominant love-child of OG Kush and Northern Lights. Regardless of BK’s parents, its popularity has been skyrocketing recently due to its reported ability to help with sleep, stress and pain. Even though Bubba Kush comes in around 14-19% THC, this is still what we like to refer to as a “dessert strain” because you’re probably not going to be doing much after a session. This is an excellent option for chilling AFTER work and should probably be avoided earlier in the day…unless you like living on the edge like that. Just don’t let the aforementioned pendants know that you’re day smoking a “night time” strain.

 

Granddaddy Purple

Arguably one of the most popular Indica dominant strains. This strain has only been around since the early 2000’s but has sealed its place in history in a relatively short time. Much like GG4, Granddaddy Purple (also referred to as Granddaddy Purp or GDP) boasts a purple body covered in a sea of crystallized resin. GDP has a THC content of 15-19%. Even those who are not typically Indica consumers like to keep this strain on hand for those restless nights riddled with anxiety. This strain has been described as the golden ticket for those who need to get out of their own head. Just as with Bubba Kush, don’t be fooled by the sub-20% THC content. GDP has a strong terpene profile backing it so the entourage effect will almost certainly leave you with that goofy smirk on your face as you ask your dog to remind you what exactly it was that you were stressed about in the first place.


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